Thinking Outside The Ego

Shifting Perspectives

Have you ever been so caught up in your emotions that you've failed to see the bigger picture? There have been a number of times that I've been in a situation where I felt like everyone was against me. It's not because everyone in my life actually decided to team up to make my life hell (although I could've sworn at the time this was the case), but in fact it was just few different circumstances that I didn't see coming all happening around the same time.

These circumstances were not inherently positive or negative, but from my viewpoint at the time they were "bad" based on how I associated them. For example, say I got into an argument with my significant other which caused plans with them to be cancelled and the same day my friend goes to see the movie she promised we'd watch together without me. I'm left feeling angry from the argument, sad that my friend went to the movie without me, and lonely from not having other plans.

So who's to blame here? My significant other? My friend? Me?

Ah well you see, that was a trick question. No one is to blame.

"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."

William Shakespeare, hAmlet

Nothing in this scenario is actually wrong. If I took myself out of the equation and broke down all the actions of everyone involved, the list would look something like this:

• Significant other voiced his truth on a subject

• Friend went to the movies

No one had ill intentions. It wasn't that both of them just decided together that they didn't like me and wanted me to suffer and be alone. Sometimes that's the explanation my ego wants to give me – that everyone is somehow "out to get me" or "not to be trusted." Now don't get me wrong, there are some hurt people in the world with malicious intent, but the people I've chosen to trust I believe should be trusted until they are proven guilty of something. I call them my friends, so I should treat them as such. If I can't do that, I might as well call them strangers.

What I've discovered about the ego is that it's kind of like a box with your name on it. The box is big enough for you to live in, and quite comfortable. It's portable and travels with you wherever you go. You've had this box since birth so you feel attached to it. It's like a second layer of skin. Over the years, you've decorated the box with titles and labels that have defined it, such as: honors student, graduate, artist, writer, lawyer, teacher, coordinator, director, CEO, etc. You felt good doing this because it set your box apart from other peoples'. It made it special. And yet, you had a tendency to seek out people with similar boxes to feel safe and comfortable. You and the other similar boxes formed a kinship only based on the appearances of your boxes. Now you're older and you've grown up with the box. You feel so attached to it that you'd feel naked without it. The box has become a part of you and you've allowed it take the reigns on how you approach situations. Everything that happens in your life is viewed from the perspective of the box. You say that things are happening "to you."

What you don't know is: the box is keeping you trapped. It's weighing you down. You could be faster, more efficient, happier, and feel free if you let it go. The box is your ego. Without it, you could realize that nothing is happening "to you." And anything that happens is neither good nor bad, it just is.

The thought of losing your ego may freak you out. It's understandable when for years you thought it was you. But that's just what it wanted you to believe. You have a whole other person inside waiting for you to see beyond the ego. I like to call this the higher self. It's you without labels, without fear, without judgement, and without limits. It is boundless love and knowledge. The higher self sees that things do not happen "to you" but instead "for you": for you to learn important lessons and grow. When you shift into the perspective of your higher self, you will stop being hurt by other people's actions, because you will stop judging them. You will see things as they are.

You see, if you actually broke out of your ego every now and then, you would recognize that you are infinite energy. You are infinitely intelligent, powerful, wise, and connected. Your energy is cut short when kept in the ego. When the ego is released, you begin to understand that we are all connected in one human consciousness. Every stream of human consciousness (one person's thoughts and feelings) flows into an ocean of human consciousness (everyone's thoughts and feelings). Therefore, no one is ever really alone. When you feel alone, it means you are not tapped in to the connection. It means you have shut yourself in your ego box.

There are infinite possibilities for you in life. Shifting your perspective is the key to getting out of your own way, getting out of your head, and seeing things as they really are. You are limitless.